Wednesday, May 20, 2015

We Got Married In Jail!!!!

We did it!  We went down the aisle!  Well actually, we went through metal detectors after my purse was searched but not before we had to return all four of our cell phones we had unknowingly "smuggled" in with us back to the car.  Yep - you guessed it, we were married in JAIL!  

Before you judge me...... 
Neither myself nor H3 (my Hot and Handsome honey/Husband) were in jail. The office/court to get married at locally is at the "County Detention Center". It is open 24/7/365 so it is like a southern Vegas without all the glitz and glamour plus you can wear jeans!!!!  

The lady that married us was the sweetest soft spoken person who was also the local Magistrate Clerk. She innocently laughed as we jokingly teased each other about how we should kiss.  I suggested "church tongue" just as Drew Barrymore stated in the 80s flick, 'The Wedding Singer'. Then to add to the humor of where we were, I asked if I could arrange for my new husband to be left behind in one of the available "rooms" - which gave our oldest open opportunity to tease us about conjugal visits.  The sweet lady of course laughed then said, "nope - you have to take him with you and there are NO returns." Funny, my mother-in-law said the same thing soon after we met.

Our official anniversary date is now 5/15/15.  We choose this day for numerous reasons... 
(1) 51515 is a cool set of numbers!
(2) 51515 is the same backwards and forwards!
(3) 5/15/2015 destiny number is "1" which is one of the best days to marry in numerology regardless of your own destiny birth number.  Destiny number:  5+1+5+2+0+1+5 = 19.  1+9 = 10, 1+0 = 1.
(4) We love each other!
(5) Are each others best friend and soulmate!
(6) Our families love our spouse!
(7) In our heart of hearts we knew it was the best day for us!

Saturday, May 16, 2015

Top Three Annoying Things - May 2015

Pet Peeves.... the things that we just cannot tolerate and what annoys us the most.  We all have them, and some even more than others.  Trust me when I say; I have a lot of them.  The top most annoying pet peeves for this month are....

1. I cannot stand for people to ask nosey questions that have no rational or necessity for them to know the answer to it. 
Q1: Why is that DVD in your car? 
Nice response:  Because I forgot to take it out.
What I thought:  Why are you asking me that? This is my car not yours and it is none of your business.

Q2 (Rebuttal to Q1): Why is the DVD even in the car?
Nice response: Because I took it to a friends house so they could watch it.
What I thought:  Ask me one more question about this and see what happens.  Nosey Ass! 

2. I cannot stand certain sounds. 
For some reason, I am sensitive to certain sounds sometimes only in certain situations.  I think there is an actual medical condition for it --- but I have not looked into it.

  • Potato chip bags - In my house, you have to put you snacks in a small container.  DO NOT EAT CHIPS OUT OF THE BAG!  Ugh!!!
  • Repetitive tapping - Pens or fingernails tapping against books or tabletops over and over and over. 
  • Toddler tantrums - Ugh --- I cannot stand when toddlers throw tantrums in the middle of the store.  Then the parents just ignore them and I have to tolerate it.  I just want to smack the parents and say --- Beat their butts or take your ass home and come back without your kid.  Don't get me wrong --- I understand people of all ages can have bad days but you know the difference between tantrum and moody.  Frankly tantrums are a failure of a parent not the child.
  • There are so many more --- but this all I am going to include here.

3. I cannot stand bad tables manners. 
It amazes me how many children, teens and even adults have bad table manners - ESPECIALLY IN PUBLIC SITUATIONS.  I am not talking 5 star restaurants etiquette where you need to know the placement and usage for each of the 20+ in the place setting - I am talking table etiquette 101 basics.

  • Licking your fingers is just plain nasty.  Use a freaking napkin.
  • Eating non finger food with you fingers.  I know there are some foods that are questionable and could be eaten either with fingers or utensils, but I have seen some inexcusable finger usage for entrees.  Have you seen someone eat pastas with their fingers (meat sauce and all)?  How about someone tear a piece of steak with their fingers, dip it in sauce and eat it? Neither are a sight that I particularly want to see.  I have even suggested to use the utensils in both of these situations and got a it's to much of a hassle.  Using a fork and knife is a hassle?!?!  (words I never thought I would hear uttered).
  • Knife cutting skills that look as if you are auditioning for 'Texas Chainsaw Massacre'.  It's more than likely already dead ---- ease up.
  • Talking with your mouth full of food.  This is plain and simple---Do not talk with you mouth full.  I don't know how many times my mother reminded me of this when I was younger.  (Thank you Mom!)
  • Chewing with your mouth open - Yuk.  I don't want to get front row seats to your "see food diet" so close your lips.  It is not that hard!  Reminder your self each time you take a bit.
  • there are so many more --- but I will leave it for a later posts.
I will say this --- table manners are CRUCIAL in corporate America.  When you climb the corporate ladder and have executive lunch events or even interviews --- I guarantee, no matter how well written your resume is or how experienced you are, if you do not have basics table manners you will NOT be the chosen candidate.  Leaders are expected to be well rounded and that includes table manners.

So what are you thoughts?  What bugs you?


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Friday, May 15, 2015

Finally! A Name That Works!

I cannot believe how difficult it was to select a name for this blog. I wanted a name that was a representation of how I view myself not the bipolar bitch that others may see me as, besides bipolar bitch was taken.

I bogged down my browser with every social media website available in an attempt to find the perfect combination of words.  If the name was available at Blogger than it was taken on Gmail.  If it was available on Twitter than GoDaddy did not have the website to match.  Hours later I had not created one damn account.  Can you imagine the frustration?!? You would not believe the obnoxious and potentially offensive names I started to type into these websites just to find a combination that worked and was able to catch the reader's attention.

Finally I settled on the word blunt.  You have to admit, blunt is far more pleasant than bitch.  It encompasses so many of my apparent characteristics like insensitive, to the point, crass, abrasive, painfully truthful and on and on.  Don't get me wrong, I am not harsh 24/7.  I have a caring and compassionate side too.  Often this type of personality is referred to as "Type A", but that is another story for a later post.

I finished up the combination of words by selecting "brunette" for my hair color and because frankly I did not want to be known as the blunt "mom", "neighbor", friend" or "Floridan" and besides all of those options where taken too.

So there you have it. The Blunt Brunette has arrived to entertain the world.  Join me for a front row seat to opinionated, abrupt and sometimes unceremonious remarks about random daily situations. You'll never know what will be coming next!

Feel free to reach out to me for my opinion and reviews or just to comment on what you think of the Blunt Brunette!

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